Why is it so hard to receive deeper support?

These are crazy times! 
Like none we’ve ever seen.

And yet… 
Here’s what I know.

When it all gets to be too much
what I really need most
is to remember what’s real.

I’m not talking about all the accurate reports on how many have died from this virus.
And the scientific projections and statistics for what’s ahead.
These truths frighten us to death
And in that state, can unhinge us entirely from what is just as true.

There is vast wisdom and support in our bodies 
if we just get out of our wild, spinning minds for a few minutes
and give the body a chance to do what it does best.

Mary shares supports to remember what is MOST real and a short meditation

So why is it so hard for us to receive deeper support? 
I’ll be riffing on this over the next few weeks, so stay tuned,
and every Sunday offering these video blogs and a short meditation to help.

You see…
we’ve been taught in our hyper-masculinized culture
— and likely by our very early conditioning — 
that when we’re feeling most vulnerable

It’s  up to us to figure this thing out!!!
Think fast! AND RIGHT NOW!

We’re humans… 
so we’re in the habit of expecting all the answer to come from our minds.

Only in a panic, 
we lose any connection to the wisdom of our bodies.
When we’re terrified about what might happen
our minds don’t work so well,
and we feel even more vulnerable. 
And scared.
And lost.

Here’s where I think the confusion starts.

YES…those brains are smart!
And I want every brilliant mind alive to be working on this crisis.  

Go for it — epidemiologists, researchers, scientists.
Let’s crack this thing wide open, and fast.

This purposeful and strategic analysis,
All the in-depth study and careful technological advances
Are evidence of the mind’s yang, healthy masculine energy 
taking action
to find ways to protect us.

And ABSOLUTELY, I want the mind’s strategic brilliance
From every human, regardless of your gender.
Don’t get confused here… energy has nothing to do with genitalia.

Only here’s the trouble.
Most of us aren’t scientists.
We’re folks stuck in our houses waiting and watching our screens. 
And it doesn’t look like this thing is gonna wrap up anytime soon.

So we do our little part.
We use our smart and strategic masculine energy 
to make personal choices to keep us safer
…like keeping 6 feet’s distance, washing our hands, wearing gloves, sewing masks…
Even staying at home.

But it just doesn’t feel like enough!
Maybe that’s because this thing is bigger than all our strategies to feel safe.
We’re left with no way to guarantee safety.
Except to let go of needing proof of that assurance with our minds.

Now we’re in the territory of feminine wisdom.
and a deeper support we can only access through the body.

Let me show you what I mean.

FIRST – take a breath!
It will help.
Then take another… and another.
Make each one a bit deeper and slower.

Notice how it feels when your ribs expand, 
when your lungs fill with that miracle oxygen the trees have been making all along
just for you.

And check it out…
Nature and your brilliant body knows exactly how to breathe you!
And how to calm you down… if you let it.

Gee whiz… you didn’t have to make that happen, either!
You didn’t have to teach your lungs to breathe.
You can trust your body and the mystery beyond what you can conprehend
to bring you back to sanity again
when the wild mind takes you into dangerous territory.

We cannot know all of what will go down with this COVID.
But we can know how best to resource ourselves for what’s ahead.

We can remember what’s been gifted to us
…what we didn’t have to think up or build or manufacture…
…what’s there for us ANYTIME we choose to receive it.

You have the sky, Dear Ones, even if you can’t get outside.
Let yourselves have even 5 minutes of receiving its gifts.

And if you can get outside, you fortunate being,
let the Earth and her wisdom supply you with what you most need right now.

This is what I know from experiencing living in a body.
We are being held. Supported. Loved.

It’s obvious if you simply let yourself fully receive all that a whiff of orange can bring you.
… if you open the window and really take in birdsong.
… if you invite your eyes to find splashes of color to awaken your joy.
… if you let a piece of chocolate slowly melting in your mouth take you to nirvana. 

Or even if you just take a breath.
And let a deeper, wiser support bring you back to yourself.

But why is it so hard?

Dropping into receiving that feminine embodied support 
is not what most of us have been taught to do.
Not by parents or schools 
or a society that capitalizes on our insecurity so we’ll buy more stuff.

Dropping into receiving that support is not what would have felt safe 
when we were small and panicking, 
when we felt alone and scared,
when we realized we couldn’t rely upon others to provide the safety we so desperately needed.

Then what made sense
was to grasp for whatever we could find to distract or avoid or maybe try to fix
the gaping hole of terror we felt, unprotected and vulnerable.

It’s little wonder in these terrifying times
— without practice at receiving support from a source we cannot begin to rationally understand — that we fall back into fear of not having enough support.

So… when the fear grips you,
I invite you to remember what’s also true.

Begin to practice more fully connecting with what your body actually senses
in its interplay with the vast world around you
…and allow yourself to drop into the inexplicable support
that may just be beyond our mind’s scrambling to understand.

What’s a joy there for you now, in this moment if you open to it, Dear?
Maybe let me know below?

With so much love,
Mary

PS… If you’d like a hand to hold as you navigate these frightening times, I’m happy to offer session times on a donation basis. My spiritual counselor is offering this to me… so I am passing along the gift. Please reach out to info@diviningbeauty.com.

When you want life or SOMEONE ELSE to be different…

How are you doing, My Dear?
Two weeks into this new world of COVID social distancing
How are you managing this wild new territory?

Isolating with one person can bring us together,
And…well, 
it can get messy, too.

Like yesterday …

My partner and I had barely begun to hike up Mt. Tom
when we really got into it.
He’s all about protecting… and I hate to feel controlled!
After weeks of managing who does what, when and how…
you can imagine the mess we made!

This Sunday’s video is all about fear, power and control,
and the personal resistance we all have to copping to our favorite defenses.
Because every time, that’s what blocks the love.

I’ll share how it finally relaxed as we reached the summit,  
and we could finally embrace a sweet compassion for our shared humanness.

I’ve added a short meditation at the end of the video, too,
that calmed ME even as I shared it.
Hope it does the same for you.

Because, My Dears, right now fear is everywhere. 
No denying it.
We’re afraid for ourselves, our families,
and those we don’t even know by name.

It’s really easy to get sacred right now.
…and get lost there,
franticly searching for some way to control whatever we can!

But frankly,
So much is just beyond our control.

So we latch onto what we can control.
Good thing, too, like washing our hands 
or keeping a good 6’ distance from others.

But when we try to manage what’s beyond our control
like somebody else 
— when we try to get them to change so we aren’t so uncomfortable —
That’s when we get into a real mess.

Here’s why…
Humans like to be in control.
It helps us feel safe… whether we are or not.

And we’ll do any manner of things to avoid feeling the terror lurking inside. 

We’re masters at distracting ourselves
Avoid what we don’t want to see
Or blaming whoever is nearest for making us feel crappy. 

I know… because it’s all coming up right now for me 
as I shelter in place.
And maybe, just maybe, you’re feeling it, too.

But here’s what I’m still learning 
through years of struggle and multiple messes, 
but annealed with with the benefit of much spiritual study and inner exploration.

Pushing the fear away
by trying to control someone else or the vast unknown
leaves me feeling weaker instead of more powerful.

Because at best, trying to control something “out there” is only a temporary fix
To keep from touching into the deeper realms inside, 
…the tender places we’d just as soon dismiss as irrelevant
…or too long buried to resurrect.

And every defense, no matter how facile or brilliant,
is a misguided attempt to avoid feeling the festering wound inside. 
One that only heals when the shield can drop,
relaxing into the vastly safer holding of a deeper wisdom.

That’s where freedom lies, at last.

So, Dear Ones, listen to your body…
and find the grounding there that will help you feel safe.

And if you’d like a companion through this storm,
…if you’d like to explore the yucky stuff coming up as you shelter at home
Or the fear that shakes your core during this challenging time,
Let’s talk. I have a few spots availble this week.

Sending so much love,
Mary



Finding Safety and Calm amid COVID-19 Anxieties

It’s been some week! 

No matter who you are and where you live, Dear Friend,
your life, like mine, has been turned upside down by this tiny virus.  It was a week ago when I woke up to the reality I’d not wanted to believe.
I cancelled that weekend’s retreat and every live event on my calendar
And hiked to the top of East Rock.

That’s where I go when I need to feel what’s real again
and find my ground.

Looking out in the mist over my sweet Great Barrington home,
the farms and fields to the west,
to Everett and Race Mountains
and beyond the Hudson
all the way to the Catskills
I wept for what’s likely to come.

I’ve climbed this mountain for 15 years
whenever I need to give myself a safe place to feel it all,
and then …
to trust the synchrony of my breath and body and this beautiful Earth
to bring me back to what is real and true.

I thought I’d share with you what I brought back
down the mountain in this short video.

It’s easy to “lose our heads” when fear, loneliness, and isolation shake our sense of safety. Join Mary as she offers practices and a meditation to incorporate the practical and clear wisdom of the masculine AND the flow, centeredness, and heart connection of the feminine through the body to help remember what is true.

I’m hoping the wisdom the mountain shared with me 
– and the meditation I recorded near the end of this video –
might be as helpful to you today as it was to me last Sunday.

Because here’s what I know…

Nature is there to shower us with gifts and wisdom
every time we ask
and help us remember what is true when we’ve “lost our heads.”

These are strange times.
If you’re confined to your home or apartment
hopefully you can still see the sky…
and maybe trees…
and if you’re lucky, a bird.

But if you’re still allowed outside
  GO OUT NOW!!!

Instead of searching for diversions on screens
allow yourself to receive the vast support
that’s right there for you, always.

Amply.
Abundantly.
Outrageously.

Ask for guidance, Dear One. 
You may be surprised at what comes your way.

See you next Sunday.
Much love to you,

Mary

P.S. If this feels like an opportune time to explore what’s standing in the way of deeper trust and joy, I’d love to walk with you on the journey. If money has limited your capacity, I’m creating some flexible pricing structures to help as we face COVID-19.

You may know me because of my work with the feminine, embodiment, or sexuality. When I work one-on-one we might start there. But often we discover powerful openings to what’s been blocking deeper connection to your beautiful essential self. Every journey is different, but those who are willing begin to uncover a path toward their freedom and joy hidden beneath what they thought was the “problem”. 

I’ve never enjoyed more companioning folks on this deeper work. Now with Corona limiting our regular out-in-the-world work, check in to see if this might be the right time to relax what blocks your joy. My calendar is freed up for two new on-line clients. If this feels like the time for you, please message me.

How intimate are you with YOURSELF?

When you hear the word intimacy, what comes to mind?

…uh, right!
And likely there’s somebody else in the picture, too.

But this week I’ll be talking and teaching about…
intimacy with YOURSELF.

If you’re reading this in late March 2019 you can catch me and the brilliant Martine Florus THIS WEDNESDAY in Great Barrington and SUNDAY Live on my DiviningBeauties private FB group for practical and powerful ways to

  • shift body and soul struggle  
  • release your life-force energy — aka shakti
  • deepen intimacy with all the beautiful aspects of yourself.

I’ve enticed Martine to leave her luscious life in Hawaii
(for our snowy Berkshire spring!)
because we both agree…

and I’m sure you’ve noticed…

When you’re feeling most fully alive
— with or without someone else in your bed —
it’s because you’re intimate with yourself.

Right?

You pay attention to what your body is trying to tell you.
You honor your emotions and your boundaries.
You ask for what you want and need.

Well… that’s what we do on a good day!

I hope you were luckier than I was though.
No one taught me that my body deserved to be listened to!
Or that my intuition — and my happiness — depended on that connection.

My journey back to myself began over a decade ago when Martine and I met.
We were in Hawaii studying life-force energy and how to deepen intimacy with Caroline Muir and the Divine Feminine Awakened Masculine Institute.

That month I learned what has guided me since…
that success in any intimate relationship with another – and in life
is dependent on the quality of my relationship with myself.

I have to say that again!
The success in any intimate relationship with another – and in life
is dependent on the quality of my relationship with myself. 

That moment launched the work I do today with women across the globe to this day.

Over years Martine and I have translated the tools we learned so long ago
to our own unique way of helping women come back to their innate ease and aliveness.
We’ve found that no matter their age or life circumstance,
that feeling of aliveness is always there inside.
Helping people release what blocks it is our work and joy.

So if you’re local —
come join Martine Florus and me on Wednesday, March 27 at Sruti Yoga
for an evening of practical hands-on exercises using presence, awareness, pressure and movement to discharge long-held mental and physical restrictions.

You will be amazed at how your body and psyche work together to heal one another.
Find out more and register here.
But you don’t live in the Berkshires?
Martine and I will be live on my 
Divining Beauties private FB group the following Sunday evening, March 31st at 7PM. 
Click here to request to join the group for this free 45-minute class with us. 
 
The work Martine and I do has evolved over the years to mirror one another’s.
We’ve incorporated past studies of the human body and its energy centers
and a unique combination of our own teachings
that help women feel safe, grounded, and courageous enough to dive deep and transform old beliefs and patterns.
They say they feel freer, more open, and happier as a result.

Martine will share practices from the 4-dimensional perspective. These enable women to open up more space in their bodies, allowing more of their authentic potential to surface.

Together Martine and I will offer practical body-based experiences and suggestions to help you shift the energy of your beliefs into balance with your physical expression so you can access your true nature to live fully empowered and alive in joy, love, and ecstasy.

Do not miss this chance to experience a rare and powerful work with experienced and generous teachers. 
Register here for Wednesday evening’s event at Sruti.
For Sunday evening’s FB Live teaching on Mary’s DiviningBeauties private group
click here
 to request to join.

This is what we want, right, Friend?
To deepen a real embodied and intimate love affair with ourselves.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts,
so share them down below!!!

I’m so grateful to be walking this path with you.
AND PS.. On Sunday evening in my FB DiviningBeauties group I’ll be announcing my upcoming Jade Egg class… both local and on-line. It’s been 3 years since I’ve taught this practice anywhere except in my retreats… so if you’re one of the many women who’ve been asking all these years… and you register that night I’ll take $50 off. Come join me Sunday night.

2 practices to remember your enough-ness

We’re a self-help culture,
but what if you actually don’t need fixing, Dear Friend.

What if the power and mystery of life force energy is always there within you,
even when you feel like you’re floundering?

You don’t need a research study — though there are any number out there
to tell you that most American women struggle
with an overwhelming sense of not-enough-ness.
Every day’s too-much-ness makes it hard to remember the essence of who we are.

That constant message of inadequacy settles into our bones.
Then our bodies, like every other animal’s,
constrict and contract as a natural reaction to danger.

Likely you do some version of this most every day.

Shoulders grip.
Eyebrows constrict.
Pelvic floor pulls up.
Breath shortens.
Jaw grips.

Sound familiar?

Every one of us builds our own distinctive configuration of protections to try to find a bit of safety in an anxiety-producing world.

That armor lives in the fibers of our bodies and deeper still in our very identities.

Then over time the intricate and beautiful way bodies and psyches were built to function is compromised.

We lose that life force vibrancy we were born with
and harden into rigid patterns that squeeze out our joy.

This is no way to live!
But most people make do with exactly that.

I doubt that you do, though!
You wouldn’t keep reading my blogs if you did.

You know what’s true.
And what every spiritual path teaches.

The essence of each of us is pure love.

But how do we come back to love
when our past traumas feel like they’re holding us hostage?

Most other animals have an inborn ability to shake it off, literally,
and move on, present moment to present moment.

But we humans seems to hold on.
Most of us find go-to strategies to numb the pain,
OR when we’re somehow more aware,
we choose ones that restore us back to ourselves.

Likely you’ve discovered your own ways
of trying to come back to your natural wholeness after a day’s difficulties.

Maybe you pour yourself a glass of wine.
Or you chill with NetFlix.
Could be you spend an hour scrolling through social media.
Or if you can and are attuned to the deeper needs,
you find the energy to get to a yoga class,
laugh with someone you love,
or take a walk in the woods.

It’s pretty obvious,
some options have better outcomes over the long haul!

But notice what really works!
Coming back to your body’s present moment wisdom is key.
Because it’s only the mind that has an opinion about your enough-ness.

Can I offer you a few of the practices that have helped to land me — and my clients —
back in the joy of being ourselves?

1. Keep your attention on just one thing at a time.
By doing only what you’re doing – like just taking a shower when you take a shower – instead of thinking about that tricky conversation from yesterday or fixating on what’s looming ahead, you set your mind toward the joy of the enough-ness of this moment.

2. Simply feel your feet on the ground as you walk.
For even 60 seconds with each step, feel your feet moving from heal to ball to toes.
Notice what you sense… the truth of your body.
Perhaps a few moments of this simple practice will help you find a center
more true than some negative story you’ve been telling yourself.

You see, we live in bodies.
We aren’t just walking heads.

We all want to feel our authentic wholeness.
The best way I’ve found to evolve through and beyond life’s traumas
whether large or small
is to incorporate some sort of embodiment practice into your daily routine. 

Try those two tomorrow morning
and then join me live for more this week on my Divining Beauties private FB group.
Click here to request to join the group.

Can’t wait to see you there!

Announcing My New Video on My Homepage!

 

Everywhere women are served up messages that say we’re on the downhill slope of life past 40.

Did you watch my video above to hear why that’s such a LIE?

When we believe that deception we fork over our time, money, and power just to try to feel good enough.

Somewhere deep inside — when you really listen — you’ve lived enough life to know what’s true.
Because that illusive happiness never lasts!

The truth is simple…
Every woman is a channel of divine love. 
It’s remembering that truth and living it that isn’t easy!!!

If you’d like to know — once and for all — how to live in what’s true AND possible, let’s talk.

I’ve just opened 5 spots on my calendar this week for conversations with 5 women who want more.

We’ll begin to discover what’s been secretly sabotaging your fullest joy, greatest wisdom, and deepest connection AND create a custom plan to reunite you with your divine essence that will bring real happiness — and act as a magnet to draw resources and people to you.

All in just 55 minutes. And for $49. That’s one fifth the usual cost of an hour’s work with me.

But I’m only offering this to women who are serious about their joy…and book a time today.

I know every woman alive can live her fullest life!
— no matter her circumstance, relationship, or fears!

I can’t wait to dive in with you, Dear Woman.

marysig

Are you still secretly hiding a dark side on this darkest of days?

Did you think a boogie man hid under your bed when you were 4 years old, Dear Friend?

Every child imagines something terrifying in the dark.

For me it wasn’t the bed though,

it was the basement!

 

As a kid I was told to go fetch my mother’s canned tomatoes.

But I hated to go down in our basement!

I’m not sure what I thought might be hiding in the dark,

But even after I’d flipped the light switch,

I was still a little scared of what might be lurking in the shadows.

 

As I grew into my teens

it was my brain that helped the panic.

Probability and logic got me past the fear.

I’d straighten myself up, stand firm on the top step,

and muster every bit of my courage, reminding myself…

There’s really almost no chance that a serial killer is down there waiting for you!!

You can do this!

 

I’m wondering if that’s the way we humans are.

Afraid of what might be lurking in the darkness.

 

Is that why you keep so crazy busy in these darker days?

Why you make sure the lights stay on and the music keeps playing?

And why this season is so hard for many of us?

 

Stopping to ponder what’s really going on in the dark, deep inside, 

can feel as viscerally terrifying as that boogie man was when we were young.

Our bodies remember the terror and still grip around it.

 

But I’ve found that it’s only digging deep to see what’s real that de-fangs the fear.

Every time.

 

I may not like what I find when I ask questions like…

what old habit is holding me back?

what is crying out for change?

what wants my gentle compassion?

 

But looking straight on clears away the fog.

Then I can see a path forward into the light.

 

You see, fears live in the imagination 

– in what might happen in the future.

It’s the mind that takes us there,

but it’s also in-sight-ful, compassionate, embodied inquiry that finds the truth 

and illuminates the path forward.

 

I hope you’ll let this solstice time be your invitation to go deeper.

Here are my first and second very specific blogs from earlier this month
to help guide you on your solstice deep dive.

 

I’ve been fortunate to have a wise guide over the past ten years

to help me peak under the proverbial bed.

I couldn’t have done this deep work on my own.

 

But with her beside me,

when we lifted the covers together

the little 4-year-old girl that still lives inside me felt safe enough to take a good look,

and the scary monster I feared was nowhere to be found.

 

And that is what I am offering to you today 

Will you let me hold your hand as we bring light to your dark places?

 

Because going it alone is terrifying.

It the reason we start and stop and don’t have much success.

But having a professional ghostbuster by your side make everything possible.

 

What I know to be true in the marrow of my bones 

is that fears that stays hidden will devour the best life you were born to live.

 

So if you’re ready to move into your joy, 

to feel the weight of years of worry lift from your shoulders once and for all,

Let’s talk.  

Click here to reserve a private Discovery Session with me. 

and in 30 minutes we will do ONE vital thing:

 

We will discover what is holding you back in the dark recesses of your worries and doubt,

and then we will create a path forward into the light you have always been.

 

Some people use this session to rekindle optimism, hope or romance.

Others use it to feel the love they’ve secretly longed for, for years.

But everyone leaves feeling lighter and more capable than they ever imagined was possible.

I know because it’s been my path.
And it can be yours, too.

I promise.


2 Keys to Every Transformation and 3 Ways to Make it Happen Over the Next 13 Weeks

suzanne-d-williams-794133-unsplashTransform… really?
Does your cynic scoff as much as mine at that overused word?
Can anything really change that much in just 13-weeks?

Celtic legend says that seeds do.
They rest in the dark for an entire season
Before stirring beneath the soil for their triumphant blossoming.
Imagine having an entire season to rest!

Winter is that season in the natural world.
We’ve been given 13 weeks of percolation
to take us from Winter Solstice to the Spring Equinox in March.
From longest night and shortest day to light harmonizing in time.
And it all begins next Friday evening.

But rest?!? Really?

The only way to let the dark time transform us
is to take matters into our own hands, Dear Ones.

In my last blog I suggested a very practical process
for creating a few precious minutes in this dark time for the next 13-weeks’ intentions.

One season isn’t much time really.
Or is it?
It’s enough for a seed to go from invisible to revealing its stunning beauty.

You see, every seed — and every artist of life,
no matter their medium —
must align with the natural forces that govern substantive transformation.

Creative flow can only happen if it’s held by some sort of structure.

If you know me even a little
You know that I’ve been rebelling against structure for most of my life.
Because it came packaged as rigid and punitive discipline.
Not really joy’s style.

Thankfully, fairly recently I’ve gotten a whole new take on structure…
(I’ll be sharing WAY more about that in the New Year, so stay tuned!)
And my life is flourishing as a result.

What I now know is
that it’s structure that holds the life of transformation I’m loving living!

See if this applies to you…

There are 2 kinds of structure absolutely essential for a seed to blossom
or a human to live a happy and satisfying life of beauty and artistry.

Obviously, the right circumstances or tools must be there
water and sunshine
paintbrush and canvas
pen and paper (or computer!)
inspiration and ideas

But something else is essential or nothing will really happen.

Every delicious creation reveals itself in structured time.
And showing up in time is what allows the creative process to be birthed.

So here is query #2 for your solstice season…
What tools do you need to let your next creative transformation happen?
And what sort of structure will you create to hold you in time

I invite you to use the next 13 weeks to bloom yourself into your next gorgeous revelation.

Dream into something you really want now…
(check out blog #1 for a bit of guidance) 

And then, over the next few weeks,
create a scaleable plan to allow for its inevitable growth.
This is how you make your desire — and your joyous life — real!

This dark time is made for inner exploration.
But that potent opportunity is only available if you make it happen in time.
I’d hate for you to fritter it away consumed by the season’s parties and busyness.
Your own precious life’s potential is too promising to waste.

I leave you with this question…
How will you value your fully-lived life enough right now to create a structure to hold its Springtime blossoming? 

Enjoy the quiet quest, Dear Loves!!!

PS… If you’d like a hand to hold for a season of transformation, here are 3 ways to be transformed in the next 13 weeks. Which one sounds more like you?1. Spend a season of intentionally structured time with me. Drop whatever’s standing in the way of the life you want and claim the joy and fulfillment that’s been waiting for you all along. 

2. Come with me to Haramara January 26-February 2. Because my retreat sold out in October (YIPPEE!), I’ve been given another casita and a dorm space if I want them. Is a Mexican deep dive into awakening the long-denied pleasures of body and soul calling, Sister?

3. AND if your desire is for more, I have one spot available in 2019 for a year’s pleasure exploration with me. Private. In-person, on line, (or both). Uniquely curated. My life’s worth of learnings, just for you. Hmmmm. Imagine!

If you’re not sure which one is you, click here to book a 15 minute convo with me.

What’s waiting for you in this darkness?

andrei-lazarev-719761-unsplash
It’s almost the solstice… the darkest time of the year.

Over the thousands of years before electricity made us forget what darkness gave, most folks weren’t going to twinkling holiday parties in mid-December.

Instead it’s likely they used this darkening time to rest, to take stock.
How was the harvest this year?
What grew well, and what should I do differently next spring year?

So many years later,
no matter how modern and productive we may be,
the season’s darkness is here
to do its work in us.

All those lights make it easy to avoid though.
I’m so busy, busy, busy during the holidays.
Not you, too, Kristin!?

The bah humbugs are bound to take over.
And all these flickering lights and ho ho ho’s just make it more intense.

Years ago I called my brand of late autumn struggle seasonal affective disorder.
And it’s true that sunshine helps.

But I’m discovering that there’s clarity waiting in the dark.

What if we haven’t evolved so far as we think.
What if, like our ancestors,
what we need most right now is time to take the year in?

To look back.
To be quiet.
To listen to our inner knowing.
To decide what needs to shift
so we’re ready for Spring and what wants to bloom.

Since the solstice is this Friday, here’s the question I’m asking now…
Where do I want to be 13 weeks from now?
How do I want to feel when Spring arrives this March?

Lately I’ve begun to ponder and plan my work and life over the 13 weeks of each season.
Instead of the pressure of a New Year’s resolution,
Before each equinox and solstice
I give myself the following powerful inquiry.

I create space for these precious few weeks of dark time to feed me.
Maybe I’ll find a few moments as the morning’s late sun begins to rise,
or I’ll make space just as it’s beginning to go dark outside.

I bring my journal,
light a candle,
And just sit, gazing out the window for a bit.

Then I ask into the darkness…

What change wants to come?
What’s begun that I want to feed?
What needs to drop away so I can live my joy?
What do I most want my life to feel like on the Spring equinox in March?

I wait. . . until the answers find me.

This is the time to make yourself the priority you need to be in order to move with purpose and joy into what’s really your deepest desire for the new year.

What if you gave yourself the gift of quiet darkness over the next few weeks?

Or, if you’d like, I can help.

If you’ve been doubting your light, Dear One,
I want to hold a candle to help light your way.
It’s not my candle though. It’s yours.
Together let’s reignite what’s always been within you.

You, too? A channel for Love

I was a young mother, finally taking a nap after hosting a big New Year’s Eve party the night before. As my head was sinking into the pillow I caught sight, AGAIN, of the dead branches on a ficus tree near the window.

Damn it!
I was going to get rid of that ugly thing!

In all the chaos of my wild life with a 3 and 6 year old
remembering to water the poor tree had been WAY down on my list,
for way too long.

But as I drifted off to sleep
The tree began to speak to me.
       (WAIT… don’t leave yet!)

“I know I’m ugly.
I know you want me out of here.
But I have something I want to tell you.I’m only here to love you.
I’m just a channel for Love.And not just me.
Everything is here to love you.

Every bald of grass, every cloud.
Every rock and plant and breath of air.
It’s all here to love you.

We’re all just love, being what we are, for you.”

OK, I know!
I’m as hard boiled as the next person.
And I’m not one of those people who remembers her dreams.
But this one has never left me.Because if every blade of grass and leaf and cloud
is here to love,
— just by being grass or leaves or even clouds —
then so am I.I must be here to love, too.
To be a channel of Love.
Love expressing through the uniqueness of me.

Only some days I forget!
Some days my channel of love gets all gummed up.
Then every cell in my body feel tight.
I’m full of doubts or overwhelm,
afraid… or worried… or stuck in some old story of my not enough-ness.

But sometimes, somehow, I do remember.

It can happen when I’m out walking in the woods.
Or holding a newborn.
Or dancing.
Or just sitting quietly, taking a breath.
Then that channel of Love that I am somehow gets clearer.

I’m sure you’ve felt it, too, Friend.
There’s a sense of spacious centeredness bubbling up through you.
Or joy you didn’t expect.
Or just a gentle sweet feeling of safety and belonging.

That’s when I can be patient
remembering that my friend is doing the best she can.
Or generous when I’m cut off
knowing that guy’s probably having a really hard day.

On days like that
I know it’s all just Love.
That the grass and leaves and clouds and all of us
Are Love, being Us.

The trick, though, is remembering!

And what stands in the way every time
are all the habits and beliefs we’ve built since childhood to try to keep safe
— or that’s what we think.
(more on that next week)

Clearing Love’s channel
means investigating the muck that’s still there.
It means being curious about what I still do
to try to compensate for having not gotten the love I needed way back when.
This is the work of evolving.
It’s how we awaken to remembering what is really true!

This is the awakening so many of us are doing these days.
It’s what keeps me hopeful in the face of such much tragedy and darkness.

And it’s what I do with my clients every day,
whether we’re talking about relationships or sex or whatever else.
The work is just remembering the Love we really are
And walking back home together.
.

So… do you want to know the end of the story?
What happened after my dream with the ficus tree?

Well…
5 days later Love did its thing
And we conceived our third child.

Forever sharing Love,

PS…If you’re curious about exploring remembering the Love that you are more often, I invite you to come schedule a chat. My treat. Let’s walk back home together.