It’s an epidemic. The way women make do in the bedroom.
I know because I hear their stories every day.
I’m still in the afterglow
from my Awakening the Divine Feminine women’s retreat this past weekend.
Discovering just how much more pleasure there in is life than we make do with.
(We even went skinny dipping!)
But too many of the stories we shared had the same theme.
Despite all our sexual liberation,
and with advice about sex everywhere,
something strange is going on here…
And we don’t have anywhere to talk about it
if we dare to even admit it!
In last week’s blog
I ran through a slew of reasons why we settle for what’s not really working.
How we hope it will change someday.
Or sadly, why we just get used to doing without.
And reaching for pleasures that sabotage what we most need.
The story is age old. Your mother probably did it, too.
In fact, that’s how the world ran until not so long ago.
For millennia women were expected to do sex the way the guys did it.
And now with so much male-created porn on the internet, we’re even more convinced.
You see, before the 60s
it was a radical idea for women to expect pleasure in the bedroom.
So it’s little wonder most of us still don’t quite know how to make it happen.
And why we still make do with giving him what makes him happy,
instead of knowing how to get across to him what we want
… just hoping the next time will be different.
But women, here’s the truth…
For most feminine-essenced people, his way just does not work for us!
And here’s why…
The penis is directional.
It knows how to get to the goal
in the most efficient way for the biggest bang for the buck.
That’s how the male body works,
and masculine energy, too.
The world’s been built with it.
It’s why we can fly cross-country in 5 hours instead of riding horseback.
Thank you, masculine assembly-line efficiency…
(and the men and women who worked there!)
It’s also why my dad hated to stop the car on trips to let us pee.
He just wanted to get there by the fastest, most efficient route possible.
Then there’s my mom…
She’d have liked to stop at the roadside to eat our sandwiches,
maybe find a picnic table by a field or brook,
instead of passing our waxed paper bundles back to us from the sack by her feet.
That’s how the feminine works!
A man or woman’s feminine energy cares more about how delightful the travel is.
How comfortable the seats are.
If you have your favorite music playing.
Who you’re sitting beside.
The feminine is about pleasure.
The masculine gets stuff done.
When it comes to the bedroom,
the fast fuck rarely gives a feminine being the kind of ride she’d most enjoy.
it’s all the little things that gradually turn her on
and eventually turn her into bliss.
And that, My Dear, may not be involve getting to the usual goal of orgasm.
The one thing I find myself nearly always suggesting to clients I work with,
(whether single or coupled)
Isn’t it time to bring the feminine back into life and the bedroom?
If what you want is more pleasure,
then always making orgasm your goal may just be what’s ruining your chances.
Of course, the same goes for life!
Not unlike last week’s antidotes to remedy our habitual making-do,
consider shifting one thing this week,
in and out of the bedroom,
to focus on your real pleasure
instead giving in to that damned efficiency tyrant within.
What one thing will make a difference?
Maybe taking orgasm off the table just this once…
and exploring your or your lover’s body, strictly for the fun of it?
Or seeing just how much pleasure you can feel with the least stimulation?
Let you own inner masculine and feminine work together.
He makes the plan. She decides how she wants to feel.
The more determined you are to stare down
your well-ingrained, cultural preference for efficiency,
the more pleasure you’ll find yourself enjoying,
no matter where you’re playing!