Fear and my BIG birthday…

I love an excuse to celebrate most anything.
Always have.

But I have a really big birthday this week,
and something happened on Sunday
that has me celebrating much more than just the number.

Photo by Nikhita Singhal

Sunday I happened into a fascinating conversation
with someone on the opposite side of the political perspective.
This doesn’t happen often.
I live in blue country.

We could have spent our time defending our points of view.
But that would have been so boring.
What was fascinating to me was how we’d gotten there in the first place.

That’s when I had my birthday ah-ha.

You see, as kid I was pretty fearful.
Something bad happened to me when I was 4.
And we moved every year until I was 9.
New schools, new teachers, new unwritten rules to decipher.

So I was a careful child, and more than a little anxious.
If I could somehow get it all just right, then I would feel a little safer.

I got good at making the safe choices.
But the fear still lingered.
It always does… until it’s unmasked.

MCC on beach in Maine - 1982

OK, so back to Sunday…
Talking with this quite brilliant man,
I realized that my political views
came from my own personal experience with fear.
I’d never considered that!

Turns out, everyone on the right or the left wants to feel safe.
It’s just our strategies that differ.

But looking at fear,
Learning how to unmask it instead of falling prey to it,
is what I’ve loved about growing older!

Because it’s fear that limits joy.
And no matter our age, joy is what everyone wants in life!

So… tonight I’ll be telling my own story,
talking about how fear ruled my life,
…and how I’ve come to recognize and disarm it when it still tries.

This is what I’m celebrating on this BIG birthday
Instead of wasting even a second bemoaning my not-so-young body.

If you’d like to be a part of this conversation tonight – Tuesday – at 9:15 EDT,
just friend me on FB
and ask to join Divining Beauties, my secret group just for women.
(Sorry guys..
but later this month I’ll be hosting a webinar and inviting you to join in the convo.)

I’d love you to come celebrate with me!
Because making friends with my fear
is what has grown me into who I want to be in the world.

You, too?

Big hugs,
Mary

PS… If you’d like to go a little deeper on this life adventure unmasking fear, and replacing it with a deeper turn-on — real joy — you might like to join me on retreat in Mexico this January. But FYI, Friday is the last day for early bird pricing, so click here to find out more.

Here’s another blog I wrote a few summers ago about facing down the fear, if your appetite is whetted…

COURAGE

How I’m Surviving in a post-Las Vegas world

photo by NeONBRAND

These are crazy times, Dear Women…

After the torment of this past month…
After Irma and Maria and now LasVegas
We’re living in a whole new paradigm.

On Monday I felt the undertow, threatening to pull me down.
Tossing me in the surf as I gasped for breath.
Really, there’s MORE?!!!

How are you coping?

It’s so easy to get lost in the anguish we see on our screens.
Feeling the pain of so many, dealing with so much!

And here’s why:

It’s natural for our hearts to break
when someone is suffering.

That’s the shadow side of the feminine.
It’s just part of the package.
We feel so much!

But when I’m immersed in grief for what I have no power to change
and overwhelmed by all that I must contend with every day
I can easily lose my way.
You, too?

So this week I’m taking stock. 
I can’t live like this.

Because if I do
I sacrifice my power and purposefulness to despair.

And right now, we can’t afford that, Sisters!
The world needs us too badly!

It’s time to take my own care seriously.
And that means stepping away from it all.

Turning everything off, at least for a minute or two.
Finding moments of quiet to come back to center.
This is the self-care the feminine must have to survive.

But I tend not to do that.
Instead I hang right in there, feeling it all.
Somehow sure that sacrificing myself will help.

This My Dears, is what we’ve been trained to do.
And it just doesn’t work, does it?

But why is it so hard to step away?

I know how a walk in Nature will help.
Or gazing at last night’s brilliant full moon.
Then I can re-member myself again.

It’s just making it happen that’s the trick.

That’s why I go on retreat.
And why I bring women with me.

But wait…
Isn’t that just a bit self-indulgent
when so many are suffering with so much?!!!!

What I’ve found is that stepping away from the craziness
for a day or a week
can actually begin to reset our cultural patterning.

It’s nearly impossible to make real change otherwise.
Especially in the midst of rapid-fire tragedy.

To come back to our destiny,
to live in the aliveness and empowerment that the world most needs,
We must have pleasure!

WHAT? 
That’s ridiculous!, I hear you’re screaming…
“When the world has gone this nuts,
you want me to hide my head in the sand,
whistle some happy tune,
and pretend it’s not happening?”

No, Dear Sisters.
Please. Our empathy is what makes us so beautiful!

But here’s what’s true:
We must have real pleasure to balance the difficulty of being human.

And I don’t mean another glass of wine or binge-watching Game of Thrones.
That’s just the easy default when the day’s too under-pleasured.

Here’s the problem…
We easily lose touch with all that’s meant to bring us pleasure!
…all that’s actually here to get us through these crazy times we live in,
…the sweet morsels of joy that are just waiting there.
They can mitigate the overdrive we live in
and the overdose of bad news we hear every day.

Haramara beach

We live on an exquisitely beautiful planet,
yet we don’t know how to truly take it in

… how to access the full measure of support and delight that is our birthright.

I’m guessing you weren’t taught to receive these moment-to-moment pleasures
through your senses, body, and deeper being.
Not if you grew up in this culture.
I surely wasn’t.

What I’m talking about is a deeper kind of Turn-ON
and what we need to thrive
in the kind of world we’re living in now.

Because drowning in the current is no help to anyone.

It’s why I make it a point to get away,
and why this week I’m making it a little easier.
Just through Sunday, October 15th
I’m taking 20% off the cost of coming to Haramara with me.

Here’s a video I made about the retreat…

Awakening Your Divine

We need real tools,
a strategy and a set of practices that can shift us
away from perpetual struggle
and into the moment-to-moment pleasure we were built to enjoy.

That, Sisters, is my work.
and why I take women away with me for a week.
We need a pleasure intervention
and a good bit of re-training in delight.

A little dose of paradise doesn’t hurt, either.

So take a look.
Then join me at Haramara this January.
And feel free to touch base if you have questions.

No matter if you’re retreating with me in Mexico
or taking a moment right now to listen to the rain,
you can reclaim the pleasure your body and being were meant to give you.

If you just step away.