When you want life or SOMEONE ELSE to be different…

How are you doing, My Dear?
Two weeks into this new world of COVID social distancing
How are you managing this wild new territory?

Isolating with one person can bring us together,
it can get messy, too.

Like yesterday …

My partner and I had barely begun to hike up Mt. Tom
when we really got into it.
He’s all about protecting… and I hate to feel controlled!
After weeks of managing who does what, when and how…
you can imagine the mess we made!

This Sunday’s video is all about fear, power and control,
and the personal resistance we all have to copping to our favorite defenses.
Because every time, that’s what blocks the love.

I’ll share how it finally relaxed as we reached the summit,  
and we could finally embrace a sweet compassion for our shared humanness.

I’ve added a short meditation at the end of the video, too,
that calmed ME even as I shared it.
Hope it does the same for you.

Because, My Dears, right now fear is everywhere. 
No denying it.
We’re afraid for ourselves, our families,
and those we don’t even know by name.

It’s really easy to get sacred right now.
…and get lost there,
franticly searching for some way to control whatever we can!

But frankly,
So much is just beyond our control.

So we latch onto what we can control.
Good thing, too, like washing our hands 
or keeping a good 6’ distance from others.

But when we try to manage what’s beyond our control
like somebody else 
— when we try to get them to change so we aren’t so uncomfortable —
That’s when we get into a real mess.

Here’s why…
Humans like to be in control.
It helps us feel safe… whether we are or not.

And we’ll do any manner of things to avoid feeling the terror lurking inside. 

We’re masters at distracting ourselves
Avoid what we don’t want to see
Or blaming whoever is nearest for making us feel crappy. 

I know… because it’s all coming up right now for me 
as I shelter in place.
And maybe, just maybe, you’re feeling it, too.

But here’s what I’m still learning 
through years of struggle and multiple messes, 
but annealed with with the benefit of much spiritual study and inner exploration.

Pushing the fear away
by trying to control someone else or the vast unknown
leaves me feeling weaker instead of more powerful.

Because at best, trying to control something “out there” is only a temporary fix
To keep from touching into the deeper realms inside, 
…the tender places we’d just as soon dismiss as irrelevant
…or too long buried to resurrect.

And every defense, no matter how facile or brilliant,
is a misguided attempt to avoid feeling the festering wound inside. 
One that only heals when the shield can drop,
relaxing into the vastly safer holding of a deeper wisdom.

That’s where freedom lies, at last.

So, Dear Ones, listen to your body…
and find the grounding there that will help you feel safe.

And if you’d like a companion through this storm,
…if you’d like to explore the yucky stuff coming up as you shelter at home
Or the fear that shakes your core during this challenging time,
Let’s talk. I have a few spots availble this week.

Sending so much love,

Finding Safety and Calm amid COVID-19 Anxieties

It’s been some week! 

No matter who you are and where you live, Dear Friend,
your life, like mine, has been turned upside down by this tiny virus.  It was a week ago when I woke up to the reality I’d not wanted to believe.
I cancelled that weekend’s retreat and every live event on my calendar
And hiked to the top of East Rock.

That’s where I go when I need to feel what’s real again
and find my ground.

Looking out in the mist over my sweet Great Barrington home,
the farms and fields to the west,
to Everett and Race Mountains
and beyond the Hudson
all the way to the Catskills
I wept for what’s likely to come.

I’ve climbed this mountain for 15 years
whenever I need to give myself a safe place to feel it all,
and then …
to trust the synchrony of my breath and body and this beautiful Earth
to bring me back to what is real and true.

I thought I’d share with you what I brought back
down the mountain in this short video.

It’s easy to “lose our heads” when fear, loneliness, and isolation shake our sense of safety. Join Mary as she offers practices and a meditation to incorporate the practical and clear wisdom of the masculine AND the flow, centeredness, and heart connection of the feminine through the body to help remember what is true.

I’m hoping the wisdom the mountain shared with me 
– and the meditation I recorded near the end of this video –
might be as helpful to you today as it was to me last Sunday.

Because here’s what I know…

Nature is there to shower us with gifts and wisdom
every time we ask
and help us remember what is true when we’ve “lost our heads.”

These are strange times.
If you’re confined to your home or apartment
hopefully you can still see the sky…
and maybe trees…
and if you’re lucky, a bird.

But if you’re still allowed outside

Instead of searching for diversions on screens
allow yourself to receive the vast support
that’s right there for you, always.


Ask for guidance, Dear One. 
You may be surprised at what comes your way.

See you next Sunday.
Much love to you,


P.S. If this feels like an opportune time to explore what’s standing in the way of deeper trust and joy, I’d love to walk with you on the journey. If money has limited your capacity, I’m creating some flexible pricing structures to help as we face COVID-19.

You may know me because of my work with the feminine, embodiment, or sexuality. When I work one-on-one we might start there. But often we discover powerful openings to what’s been blocking deeper connection to your beautiful essential self. Every journey is different, but those who are willing begin to uncover a path toward their freedom and joy hidden beneath what they thought was the “problem”. 

I’ve never enjoyed more companioning folks on this deeper work. Now with Corona limiting our regular out-in-the-world work, check in to see if this might be the right time to relax what blocks your joy. My calendar is freed up for two new on-line clients. If this feels like the time for you, please message me.