Play: the Ultimate Seduction

mary play banner

Opening to Intimacy – 

That’s what Nicolai and I were calling these monthly events.
Twelve of us had spent all Sunday afternoon playing.



The day had been about letting in a bit of real connection and fun with others…
and dropping the patterns we habitually hide out in,
the ones we think keep us comfortable and safe,
but really just block everyday joy.

Walking like orangutans, bumping into one another for the sheer fun of it.
Playing with personal space and the edges of where we’re most comfortable.

We had just a few minutes left.
Time for one final exercise.
Actually as I created it, it became more like… a seduction.
A seduction with one.

You are your own closest intimate, aren’t you?
What if you treated yourself like you wish a lover would?
Really attentive.
Totally there.
No distractions.
Taking in every touch as the gift it can be?

You see, in any particular moment, we rarely feel all that’s there.
We’re in a rush or preoccupied.
But when it comes to pleasure,
ANY kind of pleasure, I assure you…
it’s the subtlety and surprise that take us into those realms we most long for.

So… are you in?
Yes? Great!

Then first…
go find some small delicious thing from your fridge or cupboard.
Or even better, close your eyes first and ask someone else to chose for you.
It can be anything, really. You’ll see. Click here to listen

You can do this practice anytime, with virtually anything!
Try a pomegranate seed.
Or a slice of onion.

Perhaps gift someone you adore the experience.
I promise, it’s very effective foreplay.
The question is –
just how willing are you to maximize your birthright of pleasure?
​Or would you rather just fill your belly?

Why gearing up for the holidays can seem so hard…

christmas trappings

For eons, this time of year — the season moving toward the winter Solstice — was a slowing-down time.
The harvest was in.
Days were short.
Longer evening had more space for family, for quiet and sleep.
And all sorts of pleasures, too, I’ll bet.

So what happened?
If December’s packed calendar is tough for you, it may be that our bodies and consumer culture have evolved at different rates.

Did you know that the shift to more is relatively recent?
Before the Victorian era, the holidays meant a day off and a nice meal, if you were lucky.

But with a more commercial society came this idealized vision of the perfect family Christmas.
Presents sprawled beneath the tree, the house bedecked with evergreen boughs, candles aglow, lavish food and drink.

Yet, what our nature calls for is rest and going inward.
It’s why the holiday push seems so crazy.
Now we’re busier than ever.
Presents and Prosecco and parties.

No matter what your religion, December’s over-the-top focus on gift-giving brings with it a huge level of stress for many women.
We may be breaking a glass ceiling on every other level,
but we’re usually still the ones to make all the festivities happen.


But, what does fun and beauty mean for you, really?
How can you gift yourself with what you most need and want during this precious holy time, built for contemplation by the cycles of the seasons?


Surprise yourself with 5 minutes of sitting quietly every day.
Schedule a bundled-up solo walk- maybe even on ground instead of asphalt.
Light candles and just breath, feeling your shoulders drop with each outbreath.
Listen to my 10-minute breath meditation.

Then there’s just looking into your loved ones’ eyes for a minute…
Move slowly — if at all — for half an hour, maybe even with a lover.

Chances are that what you need right now is less doing and more being.
​I bet you’ll find real pleasure in listening to your body’s whispers.
Joy to your world…

Do You Ever Have a Real Day Off?

mary time off

Everyone used to take a whole day off.
Most cultures had a Sabbath day built in – and “it was good.”

These days we’ve deleted most of religion’s restrictions,
— and thrown away any healthy guidance as well.

We’re being “productive” nearly all the time.
Or at least it feels that way.

But meeting our own high expectations is just plain exhausting.
And the never-ending to-do list?
It’s a scientifically proven anti-aphrodisiac.

We need real spaciousness, relaxation, and tending once in a while
— and I don’t mean just a bath (although that can surely help).

Otherwise our well-being is sacrificed on the altar of productivity.

What does real tending look like for you? Here’s my list, but go ahead and add to it down below in the comment section.

I need beauty and comfort.
A chance to move my body.
Being in nature.
A little adventure.
Some stimulation.
Some deepening.
Inspiration and connection to my primal energy.

That’s what I want. And there are days when I get it.

But there are days when I don’t.
And if I’m not careful, even weeks.

It’s why I need to take a real break
…to tend the fertile ground of my own aliveness.

And why I’m hoping you’ll join me.

Help me name my new baby…And get a free hour long session with me…

I’m birthing a new closed FB page… for any woman who longs to be free to flow in her feminine self. Right now it’s just called Divining Beauty… but instead of doing this DIY, I thought it would be much more fun to have you help me name my new baby.

So this Sunday morning I’ll gift the woman whose name I like best a free hour-long session with me.

Why am I launching this new platform? Because this is an important time for women!! Trouble is… the feminine doesn’t have a chance in a culture that thinks abusive power is what is masculine! She’s dissed, ignored, and shamed for being herself.

I want to use my energies to work for change instead of wringing my hands and diminishing my power, So for the last three month I’ve been on fire, geeking out on what the healthy masculine looks and feels like… in the world and within us. And because education is power, I want to share what I’m learning!

You see, these words — masculine and feminine — refer to energies, ways of being, not just genders.

The wind can be strong or gentle. A woman can be fierce or tender. It’s mature and conscious masculine energy — out in the world or within us —  that creates the safety and structure for the feminine to flourish. 

We’re seeing everyday what a world looks like when this beautiful masculine potential is twisted by power and greed. Without the perspective of the nurturing, inclusive feminine, abuse and terror are rampant. Living in a culture that values this distortion means we as women can’t help but overwork and under-enjoy life. And we have nothing left for vision and change.
SO… I have a fire burning in my belly with new ideas and practical suggestions to help women bring into harmony the energies that make us BOTH more effective AND spontaneously joyful. 

And that’s why I’m creating this free and secret FB pageWomen need to feel safe enough to get vulnerable and shift this sh*t. I’ll share my latest discoveries and more personal struggles and victories … through no-cost live mini-teachings and Q&As. And because I want your wisdom, too, we’ll share in discussions so every voice can speak.
I’d love to invite you to join the group. Here’s the link to request your spot.

Every woman’s voice — and that means yours — is needed right now! There’s much to do, but becoming aware of the often-unconscious ways we abuse our bodies and Selves is the first step. Then we can choose otherwise … and go into action to make healthy, life-affirming choices at home and in the world.

I want your voice in these discussions. You’ll help us shift AWAY from complicit alignment with the grotesque and dominating representation of the masculine we see these days (and how we sometimes treat ourselves) and TOWARD an authentic harmonized masculine/feminine perspective to further this essential work in the world. Every woman’s empowered and nurturing voice is NEEDED right now.

SO LOVELIES…What shall I call the group? Come join this free FB group and help me decide. Name our new baby right here — in the comment section below — by this Saturday night — March 4th — at 11:59pm. I’ll choose the name that best fits our new birthing group… and give that woman a free hour-long private session with me. 

Check on the FB page Sunday morning for our new name!!! As never before I’m excited to be a part of the healing of our world. Please join me.

With my love,

​Pleasure of Breath

If you’ve been following me these last years, you probably know what I’m about.
 I’m constantly exploring the ways we can live alive in body and soul.

I have no interest in transcending the earthly realm. 
I live here, in this glorious, sensual world.
 In fact, what I know is that living fully awake in these bodies IS a sacred act.
And … when we’re in touch with what our senses bring us, pleasure lives there!

So, how do we awaken to this delicious dance of living FULLY
… in the body? 
 …and the heart?
Most of the time we’re too preoccupied to notice the pleasures that abound.
And we have our own fairly limited ideas of what is sensual in the first place.
We mostly limit the vast realm of the sensual to merely sex.

And we wait for some bigger, more intense experience than what we’re having in the moment.
We make due with the mundane.
In the process, whether in the bedroom or everyday life, we ignore the pleasure of what is, right now.
And all we really have is right now… this body… this breath.

I’m totally thrilled to share with you my first-ever recorded breath meditation.
I sat with Mark Kelso, my fabulous producer and dear friend, in his studio a few weeks ago, excited and a bit nervous.
I’d never done this before.

First Mark led us in a beautiful invocation.
 Of course!
Then we played with several mics in this cool sound booth, tinkered at mixing board., and voila!
It’s juicy.

Layers of my voice beneath a guided meditation to bring you back to your own sweet self.
The Pleasure of Breath.

Slide over to the Pleasure of Breath page to take a listen, or click here to hear it on Soundcloud.
If you like it, fingers crossed, spread the joy with your friends… near and far.
I’m cooking up all sorts of new sense experiences for this fall and I’d love you to be there with me.

You know, any meditation is just a tool.
And there are countless ways to access this deeper place.
Tools aren’t magic or sacred in and of themselves.
… we use them to either focus the mind or bring it to stillness.

The purpose of any practice is to help us become aware of what IS, right now.
And to encourage us to notice the choices we’re making constantly about where to put our energy, our thoughts
and then, to choose again
and again
and again.

A meditative practice is about noticing and choosing.
Like life.

So I’ll be playing in the realm of the senses in upcoming blog posts.
Exploring how to be more awake to what we’re feeling, in any moment we choose.

How fully do you want to live?
How much of your own natural pleasure do you want to enjoy?
How profoundly do you want to inhabit all that this beautiful world has to share with you?

I’m loving the adventure…. And hoping you will join me.
 Write something below that inspires your senses. That makes you feel truly alive.
 These are life’s gifts to us, in every moment.