Power and Pussy-grabbing

I don’t cuss a lot. Or at least I didn’t used to.

But the election in 2016 has changed me. Maybe you, too?

Power politics may have been around forever, but when so many Americans could disregard a candidate’s “Grab her by the pussy” comment as just normal male bravado, I realized I’d been living in a deluded bubble.

Clearly we haven’t come as far as I’d thought!

But here’s the truth that has morphed my own work and life since 2016. Whether political or personal, it’s the abuse of power that still gets the pass.  Sex, money, and gender are just it’s smoke screen.

As a women’s intimacy coach, it would be so easy to take sides here, to make it all about how f*cked up men are. But gender stereotyping doesn’t demand much intelligence. Still, how many times have you caught yourself in exasperation saying, “Men are so…!”

I assure you, behavior is determined by far more than genitals. Testosterone and estrogen do play a part, of course, and bad behavior needs calling out. Thank God for the “me, too” revolution!  But when we get fired up, it’s way too easy to fall into an indiscriminating and habitual oversimplification and lose touch with what’s really going on.

No matter our gender, when we stay polarized in blame, we are all powerless, unwitting victims of a larger dynamic. 

Since the election I’ve watched couples and individuals I’m working with get way more engaged as they untangle their blame and confusion around power. Sure, there’s no escaping how we’re shaped by our culture and childhood. But what’s really changing my clients’ lives and connections – no matter their gender – is exploring how their less-than-healthy masculine and feminine energies have been running the show.

What we’re really talking about here is power. How easy it is to wield it through force or playing the victim. How we try to get heard or abdicate our voice altogether. How we force ourselves beyond what’s healthy and then fall into a guilty vegging-out abyss. How control and familiar habits (in and out of the bedroom) help to keep us feeling safe but suffocate the juice and flow.

These are explorations and conversations that can change us from within. I love what’s been happening to me as I tap deeper into my masculine oak-tree consciousness and structure so my feminine flow can really let loose.  I’m seeing in my own life and my clients’ the powerful shifts that are possible with this dawning awareness. Then the extremes of pseudo-power and the lose of our effectiveness can relax toward our natural purposefulness… and the pleasure that results.

What happens when you’ve been curious enough to take your gender assumptions off the table and look at what’s really driving you? Have you noticed that there’s way more power there? And vitality, too?  Will you tell us down below in the comments?

I invite you to join me next Tuesday, April 10th at 6pm at Crystal Essence Wellness Center when we’ll be taking a deeper look at the way patriarchy has bastardized masculine power. (Grab a ticket before midnight tonight and save). 

No matter your gender, your authentic yang energy wants expression — it’s what frees the flow and joy of your yin feminine. Peeling away what distorts our masculine essence may be the most important work of our time if we are to preserve the health and preciousness of life on this precious Earth.

And if you are curious, there’s more here…

Help me name my new baby…And get a free hour long session with me…


I’m birthing a new closed FB page… for any woman who longs to be free to flow in her feminine self. Right now it’s just called Divining Beauty… but instead of doing this DIY, I thought it would be much more fun to have you help me name my new baby.

So this Sunday morning I’ll gift the woman whose name I like best a free hour-long session with me.

Why am I launching this new platform? Because this is an important time for women!! Trouble is… the feminine doesn’t have a chance in a culture that thinks abusive power is what is masculine! She’s dissed, ignored, and shamed for being herself.

I want to use my energies to work for change instead of wringing my hands and diminishing my power, So for the last three month I’ve been on fire, geeking out on what the healthy masculine looks and feels like… in the world and within us. And because education is power, I want to share what I’m learning!

You see, these words — masculine and feminine — refer to energies, ways of being, not just genders.

The wind can be strong or gentle. A woman can be fierce or tender. It’s mature and conscious masculine energy — out in the world or within us —  that creates the safety and structure for the feminine to flourish. 

We’re seeing everyday what a world looks like when this beautiful masculine potential is twisted by power and greed. Without the perspective of the nurturing, inclusive feminine, abuse and terror are rampant. Living in a culture that values this distortion means we as women can’t help but overwork and under-enjoy life. And we have nothing left for vision and change.
SO… I have a fire burning in my belly with new ideas and practical suggestions to help women bring into harmony the energies that make us BOTH more effective AND spontaneously joyful. 

And that’s why I’m creating this free and secret FB pageWomen need to feel safe enough to get vulnerable and shift this sh*t. I’ll share my latest discoveries and more personal struggles and victories … through no-cost live mini-teachings and Q&As. And because I want your wisdom, too, we’ll share in discussions so every voice can speak.
I’d love to invite you to join the group. Here’s the link to request your spot.

Every woman’s voice — and that means yours — is needed right now! There’s much to do, but becoming aware of the often-unconscious ways we abuse our bodies and Selves is the first step. Then we can choose otherwise … and go into action to make healthy, life-affirming choices at home and in the world.

I want your voice in these discussions. You’ll help us shift AWAY from complicit alignment with the grotesque and dominating representation of the masculine we see these days (and how we sometimes treat ourselves) and TOWARD an authentic harmonized masculine/feminine perspective to further this essential work in the world. Every woman’s empowered and nurturing voice is NEEDED right now.

SO LOVELIES…What shall I call the group? Come join this free FB group and help me decide. Name our new baby right here — in the comment section below — by this Saturday night — March 4th — at 11:59pm. I’ll choose the name that best fits our new birthing group… and give that woman a free hour-long private session with me. 

Check on the FB page Sunday morning for our new name!!! As never before I’m excited to be a part of the healing of our world. Please join me.

With my love,
Mary