Making Self-Love the Real Deal on Valentine’s Day

Valentine's Day vlog image

Hey There.

Happy Valentine’s Day. I’m wearing red. Maybe you are, too. Maybe you’re thinking about flowers and chocolate and other things to celebrate this day.

Whether you’re partnered or not, I thought I’d share with you what happened last night in my world. For 7 years my friend Pooja Karina and I have offered a pre-Valentine’s event for local women called “Adoring the Beloved of Yourself.”

It’s so easy to assume that Valentine’s day is for people who have partners. That’s the obvious conclusion. But what I know is that what’s most important thing about this day is LOVE. Celebrating this holiday that someone put on the calendar in February is really an opportunity to celebrate self-love.

So last night, with 20 women sitting in a circle we talked about what it is to enjoy and really live in the pleasures that are here in the moment… instead of denying ourselves, overworking, and then vegging-out into all sorts of things that are just not that reverent to ourselves.

Looking ahead, these women each made a commitment for the next 40 days. Just as Lent is a set period of time for letting go of pleasures, this is a time for prioritizing the pleasures that help us to enjoy every moment… not the pleasures that we have to buy, but those here, now.

Women decided to commit to enjoying the bird song every morning, now that the birds are returning. Others chose to promise to touch their bodies first thing in the morning before they get out of bed, appreciating how well it works and how beautiful it feels.

There are so many ways to prioritize the beauty and pleasure of life instead of suffering, instead of slogging through and then not really giving yourself what you need.

So I invite you to do this, too… to make a commitment to yourself for the next period of time. Would you devote yourself to one practice that honors in the beauty and reverence for your body and senses enjoying present moment pleasure.

You can write your commitment below and share it with us. My promise is to put on the calendar a 5-minute break to dance every day, just to enjoy music. I love to dance. And I get busy and just don’t do it.

Let me know below what pleasure you’ll promise yourself this Valentine’s Day.


So Why Limit Love?

Young woman making heart symbol with hands, wintertimeIn the deep dark days of February,
it’s a good thing that someone decided to plunk down a holiday celebrating love when I most need it.
It’s been a very long winter already!

It seems this day is all about chocolate and pink hearts,
romantic dinners and love for a special one.
​But for many of us, it just reminds us of what we don’t have.

So I’m asking…why do we so severely limit love? To a day, or a month, or a person?
It’s said that there are only two states of being: love and fear. I go a bit farther.

I think there’s only love
…and forgetting love.

That’s really all fear is anyway. Just forgetting. Forgetting that we are deeply connected with everything.
Forgetting that our genetics make us nearly identical to one another.
Forgetting that Nature, in its magnificent generosity, offers us such an abundance of beauty that we can barely begin take in. We forget that we are made of love,
…made by love,
…made for love.

What we most forget, I believe, is to receive the love that is here offering itself to us, in every moment.
So right now, glance around you.
What do your eyes first light upon?
What catches your attention? Let yourself be touched.
Even entranced.
What about it surprises you, when you really look closely?
What pleasure — or love — wants to be received?

Today, allow yourself to receive love through heat as you warm your hands on a steaming fragrant mug of jasmine tea.
Or let your mood receive the precious February sun’s rare shimmering directly to your eyes.
Take in the love gifted to you by the bold red kiss of a cardinal against a backdrop of snow.
Or be seduced by the caress of your soft sheets as you slide between them tonight.

There is so much love here for you to receive.

​Take a breath. Let that land. This perspective demands a shift in thinking.
Cultivate your own sensual curiosity to expand your repertoire of how you can receive love.

Do we just forget about receiving the love that’s offering itself to us?
Are we so preoccupied with managing the conditions we place on what we consider good love
that we set limits on what we can actually receive?
How incredibly sad!
How much we deprive ourselves when we make love so small and complicated!

How are you choosing to receive love? Let me know below.

And let this month be your occasion for expanding love.
For embracing love.
​For being the love that wants to bless the world.